Nine ways to be a great dad

Published June 15, 2007
By Family Advocacy

MCGUIRE AIR FORCE BASE, N.J. -- Father's Day is this Sunday, so in recognition of fathers everywhere, the Family Advocacy Program staff offer these tips on how to be the best dad a child could have.

Spend time with your children. How a father spends time tells his children what's important to him. If you always seem too busy for your children, they will feel neglected no matter what you say. Treasuring children often means sacrificing other things, but it is essential to spend time with your children. Fathers provide a special kind of action love. Play games and romp. Kids love the action and excitement. Kids grow up quickly -- missed opportunities are lost forever.

Show affection. Children need security that comes from knowing they are wanted, accepted and loved by their family. Parents, especially fathers, need to feel both comfortable and willing to hug their children. Showing affection everyday is the best way to let children know that you love them. Realize that a father's job is never done. Even after they leave home they will still look to their fathers or male role models for wisdom and advice. Whether it's continued schooling, a new job or planning a wedding, fathers continue to play an essential part in the lives of their children as they grow and perhaps marry and build their own families.

Earn the right to be heard: All too often the only time a father speaks to his children is when they have done something wrong. That's why many children cringe when they hear "your father wants to talk to you." Begin talking with your children when they are young so difficult subjects will be easier to handle as they get older. Take time and listen to their ideas and problems.

Be a role model. Fathers are role models to their children, whether they realize it or not. A girl who spends time with her father grows up knowing she deserves to be treated with respect and dignity by boys and knows what to look for in a husband. Fathers teach their sons what is important in life by demonstrating honesty, humility and responsibility, and respect for women.

Be a teacher. Too many fathers think teaching is something others do. But a father who teaches his children about right and wrong and encourages them to do their best will see his children make good choices. Involved fathers use everyday examples to help their children learn the basic lessons in life.

Discipline with love. All children need guidance and discipline, not as punishment, but to set reasonable limits. Remind your children of the consequences of their actions and provide meaningful rewards for desirable behavior. Fathers who discipline in a warm, calm fashion show love for their children.

Eat together as a family. Sharing a meal together can be an important part of family life. In addition to providing some structure to a busy day, it gives kids the chance to talk about what they are doing and want to do. It is also a good time for fathers to listen and give advice (not lecture). Most importantly, it is a time for families to be together each day.

Respect your children's mother. One of the best things a father can do is respect their children's mother. If you are married, keep your marriage strong and vital. If you are not married, it is still important to respect and support the mother of your children. A father and mother who respect each other, and let their children know it, provide a secure environment for them. When children see their parents respecting each other, they are more likely to feel that they are also accepted and respected.

Read to your children. In a world where television dominates the lives of children, it is important that fathers make the effort to read to their children. Children learn best by doing and reading, as well as seeing and hearing. Begin reading to your children when they are very young. When they are older, encourage them to read on their own. Instilling your children with a love of reading is one of the best ways to ensure they will have a lifetime of personal and career growth.

For more information about fatherhood resources, programs that can support positive parenting and personal growth, contact the Family Advocacy Program at (609) 754-9680.