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Customs, courtesies large part of military culture

  • Published
  • By 305th Air Mobility Wing
  • Protocol
McGUIRE AIR FORCE BASE, N.J. --  Customs and courtesies are a large part of our military culture and are profoundly rooted in pride and tradition. While we all learn the basics in formal training environments throughout our careers, we sometimes need to be reminded of the appropriate action to take in a given situation whether it is saluting or responding to an invitation.

Saluting is one of the most frequently used customs and is deeply ingrained in our military culture. We exchange salutes as a respectful greeting with members of both U.S. and foreign Armed Services. Upon recognition, the junior member renders a salute to the senior member and, as is Air Force custom, offers a verbal greeting. Besides recognizing individuals, we must also salute properly marked staff vehicles. If an occupied vehicle has rank displayed, execute a salute upon recognition and hold until the salute is returned or the vehicle passes.

In addition to greeting fellow military members, we salute to pay respect to our nation's flag and anthem. During reveille and retreat on military installations, there are required actions one must take if outdoors. When you hear the music of "Reveille" or "Retreat" over the public address system, stop and face the flag when visible, or the music when not visible, and come to parade rest. At the first note of the "National Anthem" or "To The Colors," come to attention and salute if in uniform, and place your hand over your heart if in civilian clothes. Drop your salute once the last note is played and continue on your way. If you are driving, pull over and sit quietly until the last note of music.

Along with saluting, there are other courtesies to keep in mind day to day. Always give the senior ranking member the position of honor; to the right and/or in front of you. Stand and, if more than one person is in the room, call the room to attention when a senior officer enters. Additionally, as a sign of respect, you should stand when talking to a senior member.

How often have you received an invitation (military or personal) with the abbreviation R.S.V.P printed in the lower left corner and wondered what does R.S.V.P really mean? Well, for some it means, I need to respond by a specific date; and to others, it means absolutely nothing! Ah, that's where you are misinformed because, according to McCaffree, Innis, & Sand (2002), titled "Protocol," 25th Anniversary Edition, R.S.V.P means (répondez, s'il vous plait, meaning please reply).

Additionally, per Emily Post's (1997), "Etiquette,"16th Edition, "... anyone receiving an invitation with an R.S.V.P. on it is obliged to reply as promptly as possible. It is inexcusably rude to leave someone who has invited you to a party with no idea of how many people to expect. When the R.S.V.P is followed by a telephone number, do your best to telephone your answer..." If you cannot get through, "... rather than no reply at all, he/she will appreciate a brief note or even a postcard saying "we'll be there" or "so sorry, can't make it ..." "If you both have e-mail accounts, even a short e-mail message with your reply is better than no reply at all..."

Here's something else to consider concerning R.S.V.P.s. What should I do if the invite says regrets only? According to Emily Post, "If the invitation says "regrets only," don't send or call an acceptance unless you have something to discuss with the hostess." Further, "if there is no R.S.V.P at all, you are not obligated to reply, but it is never wrong to do so, and any hostess will appreciate your effort ..."

Let's face it, in today's society our time is at a premium, and we all value it. With that said, there will be times when we receive an invite (military or personal) with R.S.V.P and can't respond immediately due to scheduling conflicts. If that happens, Emily Post suggests; "If the gathering to which you have been invited is informal and you know the hostess well, you may feel free to phone and explain: "I'd love to be there, but I may have to go to Chicago. Can I let you know in a day or two?" "If, however, it is a formal party and your delayed reply will disrupt the hostess's well-laid plans, then you owe it to her to decline the invitation at the start."

For more information and guidance on customs and courtesies, reference publications such as AFPAM 36-2241v1 (PFE), Emily Post's Etiquette and Protocol, 25th Anniversary Edition.

*Editor's note: This article was originally published in April 2007.