JOINT BASE MCGUIRE-DIX-LAKEHURST, N.J. -- A bitter cold wind rips through the city air, rustling the garland wrapped around the doorways.
Teddy bears and dolls peek out of wrapped bags as volunteers with chapped knuckles load bin after bin of donated toys, hauling them into the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia.
Heading the toy drop is Tech. Sgt. Zackary Rosthauser, NCO in charge of outbound freight at the 305th Aerial Port Squadron, and his wife Samantha, who are no strangers to the CHOP.
In 2014, the Rosthausers were expecting their first child. Halfway through the pregnancy, they were hit with some devastating news.
“At 22 weeks, they told us there was something wrong with her heart,” Samantha said.
In utero, the Rosthauser’s daughter, Brinley, was diagnosed with Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome, a severe congenial heart defect where the left half of the heart is underdeveloped. Most people diagnosed rarely make it into adulthood, Samantha said.
“Right away, our doctors started preparing us for the worst,” she said. “They said she could be born with an open chest or with all sorts of extra complications. The cards were just not in her favor.”
At only 3 pounds, 5 ounces, Brinley was born on Aug. 14, 2014.
Physically, she was absolutely perfect, Samantha said, but internally, Brinley’s battle had just begun.
In her first days of life, Brinley was subjected to infections, jaundice, sepsis, and countless tubes and wires before undergoing her first open-heart surgery at only 11 days old.
The next few months were a rollercoaster for the Rosthauser family – a surgery would be a success, only to be followed by another ailment.
“It was just one thing after another for her,” Zack said. “We had to enter this numb zone just to cope, but we still needed to be cognitive enough to make the right decisions for her.”
On Halloween of that year, Brinley was finally discharged from the CHOP, and the Rosthausers were able to return home.
For the next month, Zack and Samantha did their best to stay optimistic and settle into a normal routine with their new family member. However, on Dec. 1, Brinley’s home monitors went off as her vitals dropped.
“She just went completely blue,” Samantha said. “I just kept talking to her, telling her it would be OK.”
Emergency responders blocked off the road as paramedics rushed to save the tiny infant.
“She needed oxygen,” Samantha said, “but her oxygen was set to be delivered a few days after that.”
Rushing back to Philadelphia, the Rosthausers were again preparing for the worst. A few days after Brinley stabilized, she was scheduled for another open-heart surgery.
With their stomachs in knots, Zackary and Samantha waited the scheduled eight hours for the surgery to finish until finally they received a call that the procedure was a success. However, Brinley never returned from the operating room.
“We sat there waiting for an extra two hours,” said Samantha. “We couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong.”
Unknowingly to the Rosthausers, once doctors had closed Brinley’s chest, she coded again on the operating table; her aorta falling apart in her surgeon’s hands. Brinley passed away on Dec. 22, 2014.
“We thought our daughter was coming back to us,” Samantha said.
The holidays would never be the same for the Roshausers. Their only solace came as a bittersweet blessing; Samantha learned she was pregnant again two days before Brinley passed away, and although she would never be able to wear her “big sister” T-shirt, Samantha and Zack had no choice but to look towards the future.
Now two years later, Samantha and Zack have found a way to give back to the families spending their holidays at the CHOP.
What began as a post on Samantha’s private social media page quickly grew into what the Rosthauser’s call “Toys for CHOP,” but it isn’t just toys.
“We have toys, toothbrushes, gift cards, food and baked goods, all from friends and co-workers,” said Zack. “The things that seem so small to us but to the parents sitting there with their children, it makes a huge difference.”
“Toys for CHOP” made its premiere this year, and the Rosthausers were unsure what to expect. On Dec. 16, the Rosthausers and a small army of family and friends make the trek into Philadelphia to deliver bins upon bins of toys and care packages hospital doors.
“While we were at the CHOP, we met some really strong kids, and some really strong parents,” Samantha said. “All of this, it’s in Brinley’s memory.”
For the Rosthauser family, there will always be a piece of them missing, but now, with another baby girl on the way, Samantha and Zack are continuing to push through with optimism, love and the memory of their first daughter.
“We have to live everyday in her honor,” Zack said. “It’s how she would want us to live – it’s how she would have lived.”