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Family Advocacy center offers tips to fathers

  • Published
  • By Michelle Hozey
  • 87th Air Base Wing Public Affairs volunteer
JOINT BASE McGUIRE-DIX-LAKEHURST --  Active-duty military members take an oath to serve and protect their country. By taking that oath, they commit themselves to being on-call 24 hours a day, seven days a week. 

Perhaps fathers should take a similar pledge. But unlike the military pledge, which will come to and end, parental commitment is lifelong. 

"Your responsibilities to your family don't stop because you're serving your country," said Maj. Herbert Harman, director of the Mental Health Clinic on Joint Base McGuire-Dix-Lakehurst. Being an active-duty dad means being involved in your child's life, he said. Here are some tips from the Family Advocacy center on how you can be an active-duty dad: 

Understand the roles of both parents: The first step is to understand the importance of both parents. Mothers and fathers parent differently in many ways, but both sides are equally important in the development of a child. 

Play: Playing with your child is an important part of his growth process. Play time is a special bonding time, allowing you to establish a unique connection with your child. Studies from the Center for Successful Fathering show that physical play such as rough-housing and wrestling help build trust between you and your child. 

Make yourself available: Being available to your child does not mean simply being home or being in the same room. In many cases, especially in the military, it is impossible to physically be there for your child all the time. However, when you are physically there, make yourself emotionally available. Instead of diving for the remote when you get home, spend 30 minutes with your child playing, helping with homework or just talking. Most importantly, listen to what your child has to say. 

Lead by example: Children will not always remember what you say, but they will remember the one time when you did something you told them not to do. Remember that actions speak louder than words. 

Teach independence: If your 5-year-old can tie her shoes, let her tie her shoes. It may take a little bit longer for her to do it herself, but doing for your child what she can do for herself may create a dependent personality. Teaching your child self-reliance can help her develop into a well-rounded individual capable of taking care of herself. 

Establish family traditions: Family traditions offer an opportunity for you to reconnect with your child, as well as provide a memorable bonding experience. Traditions can range from lighting fireworks on Independence Day to making pancakes on Saturday mornings. Pay attention to what your child enjoys doing with you and plan a time to do it again. 

Family Advocacy offers several classes, including Child Birth Preparation, Pregnancy 101, Sibling Preparation, Daddy Boot Camp. Fathers are encouraged to attend to learn more about their vital role in the family. For registration and more information, call Family Advocacy Program at (609) 754-9680.