JOINT BASE MCGUIRE-DIX-LAKEHURST, N.J. –
We sometimes forget to extend the simplest of courtesies to our friends, neighbors, co-workers and leadership even though customs and courtesies are a large part of our military culture. We occasionally need some reminding of the appropriate action to take in a given situation, whether it is saluting or as simple as responding to an invitation.
We will be seeing more official events as well as informal parties and get-togethers with warmer months approaching. We often receive invitations with these events, whether in hard copy or electronic form and, more often than not, we are asked to "RSVP" which is the French phrase, Réspondez, sil vous plait, meaning "please reply."
Many of us know, this means we need to respond to the invitation by a specific date, but unfortunately, to some, it means nothing. We are sadly not born with good manners and must be trained. Sometimes we are trained but simply need to be reminded.
Failure to RSVP or send regrets (i.e. you are unable to attend) puts your host or the point of contact for the event in a very awkward position and is, in my opinion, rude. Planners put a tremendous amount of work and consideration into these events and when an invitee does not respond to an invitation, it burdens the event planner with additional stress and planning challenges, especially if the invitee shows up.
Responding inappropriately to an invitation is another common "faux pas." If the invitation does not specifically state that children or other family members are invited, don't assume they are automatically welcome. An invitation beginning with "you are cordially invited" it typically means that only you are invited, however, if the invitation states "you and your spouse or guest are cordially invited" it means you may bring a guest. Often, the only time children are invited is when the invitation specifically states that "you and your family..." Otherwise, the appropriate action is to secure a sitter for the duration of the event. Remember, many events are not appropriate for children and can detract from the enjoyment of the guests.
So, don't be rude. Please reply to all invitations you receive, whether for your boss or yourself, and keep in mind whom the invitee is.
(Editor's note: Heidi Malkowski contributed to this commentary)